The Secret of Blizzforums
Nice try. I will never reveal the Blizzforums Secret.
AJ has issued this statement to all those who wish to try to attempt the secret of Blizzforums. "What? I'll fuckin I'll fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost with your ass cheeks spread out and shit Right? Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like Tssssssss. Yeah, I'll fuckin Yeah I'll fuckin lay your nuts on a fuckin dresser Just your nuts layin on a fuckin dresser And bang them shits with a spiked fuckin bat.Ooooohhhh Whassup? BLAOWWW!! I'll fuckin I'll fuckin pull your fuckin tongue out your fuckin mouth and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!! I'll fuckin I'll fuckin I'll fuckin hang you by your fuckin dick off a fuckin twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker I'll fuckin I'll fuckin sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you."
Now please note that this is the punishment for simply wishing to try to attempt to reveal the Secret. AJ is one of the less violent members of the Klan. Protoswarrior caught Indian Jones trying to unravel the puzzles in the 36 Chambers of the Sacred Temple of The Blizzforums in the Slums of Shaolin. Protoswarrior came up behind Dr. Jones and used a rust katana to slice open the poor adventurers back. He then proceeded to peel back his sholderblades and rip out Indy's lungs. Protoswarrior used a combination of black magic and awesomeness to kepp Kones alive and completley awre while all this happened. He then ripped off every single finger and toe nail off of Jones and proceeded to shove them into his urethra. Jones screams and begs for mercy could not make him stop. Next Protoswarrior fed Indy his own stomach while it was still attatched to him. He eventually swallowed himself and seased to exist. Except for his lungs wich where lying on the floor and got fed to Cappadonna, Protoswarriors pet.
However this was not sufficient for Protoswarrior . He resurrected Indian Jones. Now, what happened next is much worse than what happened earlier, so the faint of heart should not read on. First Protoswarrior forced Indy to watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 69 times non stop. Then he brought in Short Round and beat him with a spiked bat like BLAOWWW! while jones watched. Shortrounds corpse was then turned inside and fucked by Cappadonna through the inverse b hole. Jones, unable to handle the horrible horrible fate of Short Round asked if he could be tortured again instead of his friends. But then Protoswarrior brought in Marrion from the first movie and had sex with her. It was consensual but Protoswarriors penis is so massive that when inside it literally ripped her in half. Jones sat chained in the corner trying to kill himself. Protoswarrior would have none of that and began a practice known as lava borading. When that was done he summoned Satan to take Indy to hell for awhile so Protoswarrior could go make Fishschale. When that was done Satan was relieved of his torture mothafuckka torture dutties, and Protoswarrior was back to fuck up the good doctor. Indy decided that he had only one possible way to escape torture, or at least feel deaths sweet embrace. He challanged Protoswarrior to MORTAL KOMBAT! Indiana knew that he probably had no chance but could at least die honorably. As Protoswarrior showboated infront of the weak human, Indy pulled out his pistol and shot him in the face. Protoswarrior only laughed as the bullet passed through his ghost face. He then proceeded to beat the shit out of Dr. Jones. One man who saw the fight said that "The black one just beat the hell out of the other dude. It was like 90,000 shaolin monks beating a racoon to death." Protoswarrior then ripped Indiana's skull and spine and skull out through his ass because he thinks that Sub Zero is one cool nigga and wanted to pay tribute to him. He then used the skull/spine to beat the hell out of what was left. FATALITY! PROTOSWARRIOR WINS! FLAWLESS VICTORY!
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