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Old 02-17-2009
 
#4
Canada KP
Words Will Never Hurt You
Join Date: Jun 2006
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 KP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too muchKP might just love this place a little bit too much
Default Re: Attraction - Subjective or Re-Framing?

I disagree Oxygen.

It's a commonly used statement that you guys often look for women who are similar in many ways to their own mothers. By that I mean, we look for things that are familiar to us. If we grew up with an overly attractive mother we may look for an overly attractive woman, the same thing goes for a bitchy mother/bitchy woman. Now I'm going to add to that and say we might look for the exact OPPOSITE should the relationship with our parents be strained.

I think where you are right is that people have a preconceived notion that attractive women are either A: less smart or B: more self centered/selfish/needy/etc. This I think is where your theory rings true. We may downgrade the attractiveness of a potential partner because we feel that going after the 'dime piece' to quote an old roommate is going to lead to a lot of pricy restaurant bills where as you can get an 8 to go dutch. If you catch my drift.

However as for the argument about disfigurements I think that perhaps if someone was touched at some point by maybe a television show/family members injury/etc. that caused a debilitating injury they may be fascinated by it. And that fascination may translate to at first to the perception of attraction and perhaps eventually actual attraction to said injury.

Think of it this way, very few people are turned on by pregnant women inherently. Sure we may appreciate what preggo's are going through but very rarely is a man who is single and has never had a child attracted to pregnant women or looking up pregnant porn on a regular basis. Or at least I hope not :\ However once my girlfriend became pregnant I began to find that I would look at pregnant women in a different light. Don't get me wrong I didn't become some pregnant chick predator or pop a boner every time I saw one but I definitely found that I found pregnant women to be very beautiful (notice I didn't say I was attracted to them, it was more an appreciation.)

I think it really is in the eye of the beholder and it isn't so much a lowering of standards and here is why. My feeling is that guys who don't get laid, especially in the internet era. Guys who have faced rejection countless times and have 0 self esteem. Begin to resort to what many men resort to - porn - for their needs. This creates a false image of what a woman should be, either A: very busty, very curvy, nymphomatic women, or B: very innocent, very tiny, very teenage looking girls. Neither of whom are the norm, so instead of lowering their standards it stands to reason that the standard would increase. These are the same type of men who can be found stalking celebrities, buying very expensive seats for them and their children to the Cheetah Girls/Britney Spears/Katy Perry/Lady Gaga/Rihanna/etc. shows.

Anyways the point I'm trying to make is I don't think many people do let their standards slip, instead I think people will be attracted to their 'type' but at the same time stronger attraction can occasionally happen to someone who wouldn't seem so obvious who they share a strong chemistry with, which is why friends and coworkers date so often.
 
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